Why Adoption?

When we decided to spend forever together, we knew we wanted to have children of our own. After our wedding, we spent time enjoying being newlyweds and rescued #kodaleroy. In 2017, we started exploring our options to become parents. We both really want to be a mom to an infant, so we tried to conceive a child (with the help of science). Our journey began at a fertility clinic with Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) treatments - which we learned only have a success rate of only about 20%.

In the state of PA, same-sex couples typically do not qualify for any insurance coverage because they cannot prove to be “infertile”. This was eye opening for the both of us because simple things like blood tests or medications would have to be paid out of pocket.

Nevertheless, we continued with our journey. Jill was attempting to become pregnant at the time and after a few attempts, many medications, and heartfelt conversations - we decided that we no longer felt comfortable at the clinic we had originally chosen.

A few months later, we chose a new fertility clinic that one of our close friends also used to start their family. This clinic was much smaller and intimate than our previous choice. We instantly felt like we had made the right choice. Our visits were more personal, the doctors & nurses remembered us from visit to visit, and even the front desk employees welcomed us for each visit (and there are many!).

Jill continued IUI treatments and after more failed attempts, we decided it was time to switch. I became the patient for IUI treatments. I had to stop medications that helped prevent ovarian cysts and controlled my PMDD symptoms. What a whirlwind that was. For the next few months, we continued with doctors visits, medications, and lots of waiting - each time with no luck of actually becoming pregnant.

After a total of nine attempts between the two of us, we were ready to take the next leap- In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). We began this process in March 2020. Just as Jill was about to begin the medications for our IVF cycle, COVID put our country into lockdown and we simply took it as an opportunity to slow down ourselves. We truly believe that everything happens for a reason and as the lockdown continued we were able to grieve our past experiences and begin to look forward. Knowing we both wanted to be moms, we put aside the desire to carry our child and move onto our desire to become a mom to a child that needs a family.

In early 2021, we settled on adoption and started our agency research. BUT before we move onto the next step, I want to pause and say that one of the most valuable lessons we learned throughout the course of our fertility treatments, was just how many of our close friends have struggled to become pregnant or have experienced the devastating grief of miscarriages. A taboo topic in the past, has brought us closer to individuals in our lives. Becoming a family is not always easy and doesn’t always look the same, but one thing to remember is that it is okay to talk about your experience and lean on those close to you.

#HoutzFamilyJourney